


Duty is the death of love

by Lils_White



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Kylo Ren, Enemies, F/M, Hate Sex, Light Rey, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, POV Kylo Ren, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lils_White/pseuds/Lils_White
Summary: He never told her he loves her, but it's fine, she doesn't deserve to hear it.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18





	Duty is the death of love

She always gets dressed right after it, layer and layer covering freckled skin.

Sometimes it seems she wants to pretend it never happened, and it bothers him in a way he prefers not to think about. He marks her every time (bites and dark kisses decorating her body), just to make sure she can't. She never complains, and efficiently dresses herself without looking at him before she leaves the room.

(He's still in bed when she leaves).

He doesn't want to be annoyed by this, but he is. _You can pretend you don't desire me all you want, we both know the truth,_ he thinks bitterly watching her figure retiring in the distance. He's naked and covered in sweat, still panting for the recent activities.

(He's also alone).

He likes her in a way he knows he shouldn't. She's smart and witty. Fiery and brave. She's light where he’s darkness. Good where he's evil. Calm where he's rage.

She's his foe, his destiny and his heart, all in one. He would cry at the implications, but he's already used to the Force's wicked sense of humor; all his life has been a big joke at his expenses.

(He is a murderer and a monster and a fool).

They always find each other in the battlefield, and they always fight. She tries to kill him without hesitation, a strange cold blood that wasn't there when they first met. He likes to think he tries to kill her too, but they both know the truth.

(He can't).

There's always victory in her eyes when she and her team run away, the almost extinguished ashes of the Resistance fighting for survival.

(He's going to end them).

They always find each other on lonely planets, the ones where they aren't going to be recognised. They fight there too, but it's a different kind of fight. Their kisses burn and bleed, their clothes are torn apart and everything _hurts_ , but they keep going. 

(He leaves the marks of his hands on her hips, she scratches his back with her nails).

They never talk, not really. It's pure physical need, driven by their connection in the Force. There's a silent understanding that these encounters are a brief truce, that they will be enemies again the moment they leave the current planet.

She never asks him to come with her again.

(Sometimes he wishes she did).

The last time they do it he doesn't know it's the last time, so he doesn't act any different. She's in her hands and knees, moving with him. This is her preferred position, but he likes it much more when he can see her face.

(That way she can't pretend she’s indifferent).

She hesitates at the door for an instant, however, and that's different. She's giving him her back, but turns her face towards him until he can see her cheekbones and lips.

“Something wrong?” He asks with a rough voice, when she doesn't move and the silence stretches between them.

She bites her lip.

“Nothing,” she says “just… till the next time.”

(There is no next time).

When they see each other again, they're in the battlefield and she ran her lightsaber right through him.

He'd like to say he sees sadness and regret in her eyes while she kills him, but it isn't true. There's fire and determination and vengeance for her fallen comrades; she reserves no pity for him.

(She gave him a chance already, and he refused it).

It's a fitting ending, if he's honest with himself (which he rarely is). He's the villain of the story. He was born into the light and he chose to turn away from it. He chose to be the monster in the nightmare so monsters couldn't scare him anymore.

He never told her he loves her, but it's fine, she doesn't deserve to hear it. She burned all his intern organs, after all.

He wonders if his grandfather would be proud of him, even if he failed in the end.

(He wonders what it must feel like to be loved unconditionally, no matter what you do).

And then he doesn't wonder anything anymore, because he's dead.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos keep me going <3


End file.
